3 things I’m telling myself while angry

I’ve run into a rash of angry moments.

It’s surprised me, honestly, and turned me around—especially since my reactions have felt disproportionate. This weekend, I became suddenly infuriated about a small change of plans. I argued loudly with my husband on a public sidewalk, which is something I never do. What on earth.

Each time I’ve dug around in my grumpy irritation and sharp words, I’ve found a moment when I dismissed myself:

I needed something, but didn’t speak up. I had the urge to do or say something that I left undone, unsaid. I behaved as if other people’s needs or time or preferences mattered infinitely more than mine—and then I raged inside, because that idea wasn’t true.

This post may be premature, because I’m exploring what’s still under the surface for me. But here are things I’m telling myself in the process:

  • Stop worrying that anger is messy and listen for the message it’s bringing you.
  • Disproportionate emotion is always proportionate to something.
  • What you want is valid, for no other reason than that you want it.
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